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Nathalie Cabrol was 5 aback she saw the aboriginal moon landing on television. Pointing at Neil Armstrong, she told her mother that this was what she capital to do. Alike afore then, she stared up at the stars in the night sky abreast her home in the Paris suburbs and knew that questions were there cat-and-mouse for her.

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Cabrol is an explorer, an astrobiologist and a all-embracing geologist specializing in Mars. She is the administrator of the Carl Sagan Center at the SETI Institute, the nonprofit alignment based in Abundance View, Calif., that seeks to explore, acquire and explain the agent of action in the universe. Its assignment has the allure of science fiction, but it involves accurate assay and, as Cabrol told me, “people who are amorous abundant that they can put themselves into acute straits.” That is what she does, traveling to some of the world’s best acute and alarming environments in chase of bacilli that alive in distance akin to those on Mars. Cabrol was the arch scientist on the aggregation testing an alpha departer in the Atacama Barren in 2002 and was alive in allotment the landing armpit on Mars for Spirit, the departer that explored the planet from 2004 to 2010; she has dived in agitable lakes at aerial altitudes to abstraction the creatures aural and has advised and installed an chargeless amphibian apprentice on an Andean basin that apish lakes on Titan, one of Saturn’s moons.

I met Cabrol in October 2016 in Antofagasta, Chile, a anchorage burghal of oxide-colored high-rises and chestnut sculptures that sprawls amid dry hills and the aphotic Pacific. Over the abutting 26 days, she led an campaign to Chile’s high-altitude chastening to assay methods of audition action on Mars. I was there to accompany the team; I had brought with me a sleeping bag, altitude-sickness pills and all-overs about the acute distance that lay ahead.

Petite and slight, with short-cropped argent beard and a striking, cautiously carved handsomeness, Cabrol, who is 54, resembles Isabella Rossellini with an adorable birr of David Bowie. Her eyes resemble gray-green able granite, absolutely categorical with eyeliner, alike aback she is in the desert. She’s charismatic, balmy and acutely funny but possesses an indefinable, capricious wildness: Talking to her sometimes disconcertingly reminded me of encounters I acquire had with backwoods animals ambiguous whether to abscond or avert themselves. That aboriginal ablaze morning in Antofagasta, I watched her breach into peals of begrimed amusement as she captivated up a SETI Institute banderole for the camera.

The chase for action aloft Apple has entered a new appearance in the accomplished few decades. Some models acquire appropriate that conceivably 100 actor planets in the Milky Way could ascendancy circuitous multicellular life. We acquire abstruse too that planets allegation not carefully resemble Apple to potentially anchorage life; subsurface oceans on abroad moons like Saturn’s Enceladus and Titan, for instance, could abutment microbial organisms. The universe, Cabrol told me, is apparently abounding of such simple life, and the purpose of this campaign would be to clarify methods of award it — of audition biosignatures. These are signs of life, or lives already lived: organisms, or the structures they acquire made, alike the actinic compounds they acquire produced.

Over the abutting few weeks, we would appointment bristles sites at capricious altitudes. The college we climbed, the added we went aback in time — not on Earth, but on Mars. The high-altitude sites are water-rich, with a attenuate atmosphere and aerial levels of UV radiation. They resemble Mars at the alpha of the alteration it underwent three and a bisected billion years ago, aback solar apprehension began to band abroad its atmosphere, acceptance catholic application to ability its surface, and the baptize that already flowed there vanished into amplitude or was bound abysmal underground or at the planet’s poles. During this period, any action on the apparent would acquire died or taken ambush in the aforementioned kinds of places in which action exists in brusque regions like the Atacama. The apparent of Mars is apparent to adverse radiation; no action can survive on it today, Cabrol told me, but it ability still be ambuscade underground. The salty, barren sites we visited aboriginal were earthbound analogues for abreast Mars.

For Cabrol, there is abundant added in the chase for action on Mars than answering the old question, “Are we alone?” Billions of years ago, rocks befuddled off by comets and asteroids colliding with Apple accomplished Mars, and carnality versa. Conceivably some agitated aboriginal life. Award affirmation of the alteration from prebiotic allure to action actuality on Apple is impossible, because any such annal were continued ago destroyed by the Earth’s accelerated geological activity, by abrasion and bowl tectonics. But age-old rocks from the time Mars’s band cooled bottomward are still present on that planet’s surface; if we allotment our ancestor with Mars, traces of our own action ability still be begin there. “Mars may ascendancy that abstruse for us,” Cabrol says. “This is why Mars is so appropriate to us.”

Salar Grande

In October 2016, Cabrol was in her additional year of arch the SETI Institute aggregation on its biosignature-detection campaign to Chile. A annealed Pacific breeze blew asleep mimosa blossoms above the sidewalk as I climbed central a minibus to accompany them on the continued drive to our aboriginal acreage site, area the aggregation would absorb three canicule sampling and alive out how to acquisition signs of life. Through the blue-tinted windows, the bendable yellows and addict oxides of asperous bedrock and beach were angry a dusty, ashen red. Fredrik Rehnmark, a automated architect from Honeybee Robotics, was delighted. “If they congenital a alley on Mars, it would attending like this!” he exclaimed.

We collection north, casual anemic rocks abiding in patterns of names and brand on hillsides. About annihilation moves in this desert. There are places that haven’t abundant afflicted in bristles actor years. Those names accounting in bean are a affectionate of biosignature that will abide not aloof the bodies who set them there but all of us and all we know.

Salt began to advance forth the edges of the albino alley as we angry inland. Time drifted. Aggregate alfresco the windows was so characterless that it seemed like a affected backdrop. At the site, we set up tents on the shores of Salar Grande, a nine-mile-long alkali collapsed that was a basin millions of years ago. There are flats agnate to this on Mars.

The acrid air fabricated my face beat and burn; I blinked constantly. The hyperarid amount of the Atacama was far to the east; area we were, fog formed in from the Pacific to appearance the mural about us. Abutting up, the alkali collapsed was composed of ample polygonal plates whose edges were aggregate with article that looked like half-melted auto sorbet, or the dirty, refrozen snow that collects forth the roadside in winter. Added alkali nodules were aggregate in bags like dry and bedraggled bones, and the arena abaft our tents was blowzy with the bits of long-abandoned salt-mining operations.

Drills echoed in the morning air. The engineers from Honeybee were excavating alkali cores to assay ancestor accoutrement for approaching rovers. A aggregation from the University of Tennessee deployed a bombinate to map the terrain, a tiny aphotic brilliant that articulate like a abroad backup of wasps. The SETI Institute assay scientist Pablo Sobron analyzed alkali samples with a laser spectrometer; one will be a affection on approaching rovers. And acceptance from the Catholic University of the Chill in Antofagasta were accession alkali nodules for microbiological lab assay with the SETI Institute/NASA scientists Kim Warren-Rhodes and Alfonso Davila.

Cabrol best up a block of alkali and captivated it to the light. “Look,” she said. Central the birthmark were two ablaze bands of color: blush on top, blooming below. These were communities of halophilic — salt-loving — bacilli that can survive this acute ambiance alone by alive central clear-cut nodules. The blooming bacilli photosynthesize nutrients from the ablaze clarification through the blush antecedents above. The blush colorant works as a sunscreen, absorption both colonies from UV radiation that would contrarily accident their DNA.

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I had been walking on these nodules all day, and I hadn’t apparent the action below my feet. “Habitability is not article actual obvious,” Cabrol said. “It can be hidden.” I looked at her slight figure, the alkali blanket her gloved fingertips, the faintly arch smile on her face, and afresh stared out at the amplitude of the mural about us. It was boundless to anticipate of the scales her assignment spans: millions of afar of space, billions of years of all-embracing evolution, the amplitude of the universe, the canyons and valleys of Mars, the amplitude of alkali here, our baby forms continuing aloft it, and these alluringly tough, tiny, about airy signs of action captivated amid feel and thumb.

Paris

An alone child, Cabrol spent a lot of time alone in her family’s baby accommodation while her parents worked, and in her confinement she created an imaginative, abstruse apple of her own to alive in, bushing her hours with words and symbols and numbers, autograph belief and archetype curve aloft atlases. She told me that as a adolescent she had a aptitude for abutting things that were not accessible to others. She believes that this is still one of her greatest strengths as a scientist. But alike as she started to apprehend the amplitude of space, her amusing apple remained circumscribed. “For a continued time,” she said, “I apprehension that I could do afterwards interacting with others. I didn’t acquire abounding accompany at all, and I didn’t attending for them. I had enough. I was alive abundant in my mind.” Her parents adored to buy her astrochemistry books and magazines. Her mother accepted her passion. Her ancestor was below certain. “For him, that was a phase, you know?” she said wryly. “That was a appearance that lasted a continued time!”

Cabrol’s boyish years were troubled. Things were difficult at home, area her parents were fighting; she didn’t fit in and was afraid at school. Some of her schoolteachers apprehension she lived in a fantasy world. Although she capital to abstraction all-embracing sciences, she advised the humanities, for until she accomplished it to herself afterwards in her career, algebraic was not her forte.

Cabrol was demography apple sciences in her final year at Paris Nanterre University aback her lab administrator appropriate that she appointment the celebrated Meudon Anchor south of Paris to accommodated Prof. André Cailleux, a avant-garde in all-embracing geology. Cailleux showed her maps of Mars and explained that his colleagues were alive on the history of baptize on the planet. Would she be absorbed in abutting them? “All these years I apprehension I was action 180 degrees from area I bare to go, but the aisle was demography me absolutely area I bare to be,” she told me. Stepping out from that aboriginal meeting, she gazed about at the anchor domes and acquainted them abnormally familiar. “All these domes I had been cartoon as a little girl, consistently repeating the aforementioned landscape, the all-embracing landscape, of a planet that was absolutely desert. And with Saturn in the background, consistently a aphotic sky and domes.” At Meudon, she had assuredly begin a way to get nearer to Mars.

During the day she was alive on her master’s amount on the change of water-carved valleys on Mars, but she spent her nights attractive through Meudon’s acclaimed 19th-century telescope, the Grande Lunette, boring a sleeping bag there to blow amid hours of observing. Through the eyepiece, there was Mars, small. At aboriginal she couldn’t see much, but the added she looked, the added she saw on the dusky, alteration face of the planet that would become a focus of her career, a planet whose gullies and broiled lakes acquire become as accustomed to her as the backs of her hands. And it was at Meudon too that she had a moment that larboard an enduring mark. Prof. Audouin Dollfus, the eminent astronomer who apparent Saturn’s accessory Janus, asked her if she would like to see moon dust. “Duh! Do I appetite to see lunar dust?!”

He produced a baby alembic from a safe, and Cabrol looked at it and was disappointed. “I had a action like: So? That’s it?” she told me. Politely agog but secretly unmoved, she larboard the lab to go home, but aback she looked up and saw the moon blind ablaze over Paris, she was aback stricken with awe. “All of a abrupt this moon dust that looked like annihilation looked like the best adored affair ever,” she said. “Because it is not so abundant what it is but the adventure it took to get here.” It was a revelation. “I don’t anticipate that annihilation I saw through an eyepiece told me the aforementioned thing: the adventure it took, the spirit of exploration, the crisis of exploration, the things you acquire to accept, that there is a sacrifice, and the cede ability be your own life.”

Exploration lit her imagination. “I breathe it, brainstorm it every day of my life, and I dream about it at night,” she wrote afresh in a clandestine manuscript. She told me of a adolescence memory: her ancestor aperture annoying candied chestnut cases for her, apprehension the glossy, blotchy basics inside. She was entranced. Aboriginal moments like this buried the admiration for analysis central her, an appetite to acquisition afresh the admiration of seeing hidden things brought to light.

While alive on the catechism of how abounding baptize formed lakes on Mars for her Ph.D. at the Sorbonne, Cabrol met Edmond Grin, an eminent retired hydrogeologist who had gone aback to acquire a Ph.D. in astrophysics. “This is his thing,” she told me. “When he has annihilation to do, he plays with Einstein’s equations.” She was 23 and he was 66 aback she aboriginal saw him talking to a assistant afore her chic began. “For some reason,” she said, “I could not attending in any added direction. I was stuck. I was attractive at him, and at that time in my brain, that was like: I apperceive this man. I apperceive this person. From area do I apperceive him?” He sat abreast her in the class, they looked at anniversary added and “that was it — it took us, you know?” she said. “I cannot explain, but I was cat-and-mouse for him to appearance up.” In the years that followed, Grin helped focus her assignment and her assay alignment and was a transformative attendance in added ways. “He did a bewitched act on me,” she told me. “From actuality an autist autograph those codes and symbols and novels and papers, it’s like he took a cuff and angry it central out, and all of a abrupt aggregate that was central came out.”

When Cabrol catholic to NASA’s Ames Assay Center in Silicon Valley in 1994 to assignment on a landing-site abstraction for a proposed mission to chase for action on Mars, Grin went with her. All they took with them was a suitcase. Central it was a map of the Gusev Atrium on Mars, fabricated of taped-together photocopied images from the Viking mission, the unmanned aircraft that surveyed and landed on the planet in the 1970s. “The two of us had to booty a actual big bound of faith,” she said. Added than 30 years later, they are still together, still inseparable, now married. In 2010, they edited “Lakes on Mars,” the aboriginal bookish book on the subject. Cabrol calls him Merlin, afterwards the magician. He has developed breakable now, and this was the aboriginal time Cabrol had been to the Atacama afterwards him. That he had to break abaft was a antecedent of abysmal anguish for her, article that I accomplished alone afterwards in the expedition, aback she larboard the accumulation at a anchor abreast San Pedro de Atacama to airing bottomward an acclivity and boring at the pyramidal, abroad slopes of Licancabur, a abundance they already climbed together. She looked baby and awfully alone.

Salar de Pajonales

We confused south, up assimilate to the altiplano, the second-largest plateau on Earth, area the mural had an amazing luminosity; it glowed like a arena corrective on accomplished cartilage china. It was wetter too; there were aureate grasses on the hillsides. Aback Cabrol aboriginal came to this abode and saw the snow-capped Andes, it was a shock. She acquainted as if she were aback about she belonged. There was a connection, aloof as aback she aboriginal saw the Atacama Barren through a alive augment from an alpha rover, its barren mural projected assimilate a awning in a science-operation room. Alike with that distance, that automatic mediation, she told me, “the adulation adventure started,” and “there was article that I knew was cartoon me to this place.”

She has a agnate affection to the Gusev Crater, a 100-mile-wide appulse atrium into which baptize may already acquire caked from the immense coulee of Ma’adim Vallis. She and Grin advised it and chose it as a landing armpit for the Spirit rover. “I had the aforementioned action aback I aboriginal saw Gusev from the surface. I was the aboriginal actuality on the planet to see a new landscape. And you don’t get over this. You cannot. I will die with these images. It’s in me forever.”

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On one continued campaign drive, Cabrol stared out the window, her amateur abutting with what I accomplished was apprehension alone aback we crested a acceleration and saw the aboriginal aphotic peaks of volcanoes afore us. She angry to us all with a afire smile. “I’m home,” she announced.

At first, Salar de Pajonales appeared as a white application amid aphotic agitable slopes, but as we collection through its ample amplitude of adhesive sands, sunlight flashed above bags of apparent flakes, brief credibility of angry white light. The salts actuality were chemically altered from those at Salar Grande. Cabrol visited the armpit briefly bristles years ago and was captivated to acknowledgment and ascertain what it held. Underfoot, the arena crunched and tinkled — it was like treading on amoroso alloyed with burst glass. Huge administration of adhesive were dotted about us, annular structures like crumbling coral, the blush of milk chocolate. Fascinated, I pulled out the sun-rotted blades abutting to their apparent with my hands, as if extracting teeth.

Life was below accessible to locate here. Alone aback Bill Diamond, the SETI Institute’s arch executive, kicked a bedrock did we acquisition a burst block colonized by those accustomed bacilli in shades of blush and green. Her face bisected blocked by mirrored glasses and a scarf, Cabrol affectionately baldheaded the anachronistic imprints of age-old bacterial colonies alleged stromatolites. They looked like alveolate breakable cups, anemic fingerprint impressions. Samples were photographed, noted, bagged to be beatific on to the lab. Overhead, the bombinate was mapping this terrain, disturbing in the wind.

That afternoon, I hopped in a barter with a biologist and a biochemist from the Catholic University of the Chill who capital to booty bacterial samples from a adjacent lake. Its azure amnion were amidst with anemic adhesive blades like thickets of kitchen knives. It was too surreal; I alternate to the truck, action abnormally blinded, admitting I could see. It was if a white ablaze shone abaft my eyes. My adenoids ran; my sinuses ached. The things I wrote in my anthology had become added bizarre. I cacographic questions asked in bottle above a accomplished page, an astonishing aide-mémoire for article I never remembered. As we collection aback to the capital abstraction site, I saw Cabrol in the distance, a slight adumbration affective boring above the anemic blaze of sunbaked gypsum, article abnormally like a delusion of a person.

That night we slept in an alone mining camp. In the aboriginal hours, in the rat-dropping-dusted particleboard and corrugated-iron berth we were application in lieu of tents, I lay in added affronted abnegation until I abject myself out of my sleeping bag to pee. It was bare 0.4 degrees outside. Aloft me, the Southern Hemisphere stars were all dust and alarm and ambit and apathetic blaze in the night, and I stared up, frozen, and chill in wonderment.

El Tatio

We climbed college still, to agitable sites that resemble formations begin on Mars, so aerial that there wasn’t abundant oxygen for the agent of our minibus. It adjourned center to our destination. We went aback to Antofagasta and busy a new minibus. This additionally stalled. Aback we assuredly accomplished the bubbler acreage of El Tatio, it was deserted. At about 14,000 feet, it is one of the accomplished alive geothermal sites in the world. Tourists army actuality at dawn, aback the freezing air turns the armpit into columns of roiling steam. Some geysers were low to the arena and hardly visible, aloof a aside ablaze of balmy air aloft them; others looked like alpine berms of adobe cloudburst out blubbery gouts of steam. This affectionate of volcanic, fumarolic ambiance would acquire been present four billion years ago on Mars, and old hydrothermal environments like it are one of the best acceptable habitats to ascendancy life, or the charcoal of above life, on the planet.

Cabrol donned her red-and-black rucksack, atramentous bleed hat and mirrored glasses, best up a geologic bang and started hacking at an abeyant geyser. The apparent looked bare of life, but she was captivated to ascertain ablaze emerald colonies of chasmoliths — bacilli that alive in cracks and fissures — advancing on the abject of chastening of geyserite. The hot springs actuality were abounding of algal mats and bacilli that had acquired to alive in baptize that is about boiling; they glowed amethyst and aphotic pink, their colors aegis adjoin UV rays.

Cabrol has consistently been fatigued to both volcanoes and lakes, blaze and water. They’re absolutely opposite, she said, “but if they assignment synergistically together, they actualize steam, which is a antecedent of energy. And afresh you can aftermath power. And you actualize things with that. But if the baptize goes on the fire, afresh you acquire destruction. And my complete action is aloof aggravating to acquisition this antithesis amid conception and destruction. For the things that I actualize and the things that are bistro me inside. And it’s a actual accomplished balance.” There is a arrangement in her life, she tells me, area the accomplished of highs are apace followed by the everyman of lows. She batten to me of the deaths of her mentors, accompany and ancestors members, of times she came abutting to death, of times aback she struggled with close darkness. “What bodies see in me is the acknowledged woman, the leader, but all of this is congenital on diaphoresis and assignment and temper, you know? It’s losses, tragedy, afterlife and tears. I assumption you cannot be able if you never acquire been aching and apprentice how to survive that.” As she told me this, she looked bone-tired. It was the third anniversary of our expedition, and she was sleeping badly, two or so hours a night, she said. And the distance anesthetic she was demography was authoritative her sick.

Cabrol’s chase for action in acute distance began in the Atacama but took a about-face in 2000, afterwards she watched a French television documentary that showed the atrium basin aloft Licancabur on the Bolivian altiplano. There it was, onscreen, the complete abode to chase for extremophile action acclimatized to the backbreaking distance of high-altitude lakes. She wrote a assay angle and three years afterwards donned a atramentous wet clothing with a abounding belt and free-dived into the basin at an distance of about 20,000 feet, advertent zooplankton breed new to science.

“Water is my thing,” Cabrol told me. “I feel comfortable. I feel at peace.” On a ancestors vacation aback she was 2, she wore baptize wings to float on the apparent of Basin Garda in Italy. She clambered onshore, took off the wings and went aback to the water. “I am cerebration to myself that if I go underwater, I cannot sink,” she laughed. Submerged, she swam aimlessly in a new apple of animated dust and active colors. She abstruse to free-dive as a jailbait in Cap d’Agde in the south of France. “It was consistently admirable and peaceful; there was no stress,” she said. “There was this faculty of actuality amenable for myself, of actuality in allegation and seeing admirable things, and analysis and discovery.” We were talking in her tent, and the blackout amid her words was abounding with the able and ripple of nylon stock, the abandon of the covering inhaling and exhaling in the wind, the attic billowing up about our buried feet.

“When I entered that lake,” she said, “I was cerebration I was entering the past, absolutely entering a time apparatus that was cogent me what Mars was like four billion years ago. It’s absolutely a abode area time and amplitude get warped.” Diving in these aerial lakes affronted affecting states, she said, that were acutely admirable and spiritual. There was one time, in 2006, aback she was abeyant in the average of the agitable lake, bent amid amid apple and sky, the baptize chill dejected and anniversary ray of sunlight diffracting about her, so that she acquainted amidst by diamonds. “And on top of that,” she said, “copepods, little zooplankton, tiny shrimps, and they are so red. It’s a symphony of color. I’m abeyant like that, and time stands still. And for one atom of a second, aggregate is perfect. I don’t allegation to acquire to explain anything. For that actual moment, you acquire everything. And there is annihilation to understand.” Afresh she remembered she was on a not-so-dormant volcano. “I thought, I acquire a clothing and 45 account of oxygen,” she said and befuddled her head. “My aftermost apprehension would acquire been so serene and so peaceful.”

Chilifornia

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As we took the trucks in a accompany up to our final site, I looked aback on the Atacama and apprehension of the Apollo astronauts. Far abaft and below us was a haze-softened dejected amplitude streaked with clouds, authoritative this ascend feel like a adventure abroad from Earth. We were amid volcanoes now, all-inclusive blisters on the plateau. Cabrol acicular out Simba, which the accumulation planned to ascend to sample the bacilli in its atrium lake. Cabrol has a history with Simba. In 2007, she was aggressive it with her aggregation aback the Tocopilla convulsion hit. They abhorred the avalanches, but aback Lascar, the abundance administration a abruptness with Simba, began to afford poisonous gases, Cabrol fell into what she alleged a “surgically cold” mind-set, afraid alone with logic, practicality, survival. During their descent, a ample aerobatics bedrock aloof absent her. “And this,” she said, “was aback I got mad.” She stood up in the average of the gully and started babble at the volcano. “ ‘Is it action to be all today?! Is there annihilation yet you can?!’ I was shouting! I was outraged!” She got anybody bottomward cautiously and afresh about anesthetized out in the barter aback to abject affected — partly from an adrenaline crash, partly from the ability that anybody ability acquire died.

We camped below an abolished volcano, in an alone aggressive billet that the aggregation alleged Chilifornia. The cinder-block rectangle had no roof, but the walls cloistral our tents from the wind. Cabrol warned us not to go wandering. In the 1970s, this area was acknowledged with adjoining Bolivia, and there are still acreage mines here. I grew alike added afraid aback I heard Cabrol and Cristian Tambley, who was administration acumen for the expedition, talking about installing UV-monitoring systems in this region. Able UV radiation amercement DNA. The Apple Health Alignment warns adjoin actuality alfresco aback the UV basis is over 11. In 2003 and 2004, Cabrol empiric alien UV storms actuality of amazing intensity, admitting they lasted alone a few hours. On Licancabur, she detected UV spikes of over 43. That night I dreamed of acid a spacesuit.

It was an hour’s drive to Laguna Lejía the abutting morning, a brownish basin algidity with sunlight. Cabrol was abashed aback we arrived. “It’s essentially bargain in admeasurement compared with aback I aftermost saw it, in 2009,” she said. “Our planet is absolutely alteration in advanced of our eyes,” she told me later, “at a acceleration that is acutely scary.” The avenue we were traveling was already a drive avenue for beasts from Argentina into Chile, and I couldn’t attending abroad from the basic littering the place. The skulls larboard abaft were so old that the keratin layers of their horns had bald apart, akin aerial ache cones or the breakable pages of old books larboard in the sun.

Cabrol has formed carefully with robotics engineers for abounding years, and her 2011 All-embracing Basin Lander action set an chargeless amphibian apprentice in Laguna Negra in the Andes. Anytime since, Cabrol has fabricated it her mission to advance the two things together: distance change on Mars and distance change on Earth. The All-embracing Basin Lander wasn’t aloof alertness for approaching missions to lakes and seas aloft Earth, or artlessly an alternation for distance change on Mars, but a way of investigating distance change actuality and now. The arena abreast Laguna Negra is adversity from accelerated deglaciation.

We saw that change too. We catholic to addition lake, amidst by creeks and chill grass. The wind was brutal, the sky the hardest blue. Cabrol below at a armpit area she begin freshwater springs seven years ago. Fascinated and forlorn, she told us that this was like Mars three billion years ago. The apparent baptize was receding, but there was some baptize underneath. She was abashed by how fast the distance was alteration here. “Seven years ago, this was a admirable spring, a pond with zooplankton, but now you can’t acquaint the aberration amid this and the blow of the desert.” She aching acclaim at chill mud with the point of her geologic hammer. Later, she acicular out that the Apple itself in is no crisis whatsoever. “It will survive whatever we bandy at it. What is in crisis is the ambiance that fabricated us possible. We are appealing abundant acid the annex we are sitting on. So either we acquire that actual quickly, or action will go on — but a altered one.” She thinks it will not be a apathetic disappearance. “It’s action to be abrupt and frightening,” she said.

At night in my sleeping bag, I woozily speculated on the acceptation of action and death, the fate of Earth, the end of things. I asked Mario, one of the campaign doctors, if déjà vu was a accustomed evidence of altitude. “Absolutely,” he said. I was relieved. It kept happening. It was starting to alarm me. The day before, a llama apartment from the wind abaft an bulge stepped bottomward with leisurely, abstinent adroitness above talc-dusted slabs of rock. I knew I’d apparent it before. Added than twice, certainly. Conceivably bristles times, six. I knew I hadn’t, of course, but these miraged recollections were instantly telescoped and pleated calm like a backpack of cards all of the aforementioned clothing flicked through with a thumb. There was a faculty that absoluteness is capricious here, as if I could put a duke to the air and it could blooper appropriate through to addition cosmos if I wasn’t advantageous acceptable attention, or advantageous too much. As if I could chargeless addition absoluteness by abrading corners of air calm like aggravating to accessible a contrary artificial bag. And the wind caked on us as we drove, authoritative dust devils circuit over the distances, all alfresco acutely adverse to breath.

These aerial places, Cabrol told me, were angelic to the Inca people, who would ascend the mountains actuality to accomplish ritual offerings to the gods. Crouching abaft a bedrock to accumulate us out of the aciculate abundance wind, she explained how up actuality the accurate chase for action aloft Apple and the airy chase for acceptation cannot advice active in parallel. “The Incas would appear actuality to the mountains to ask questions of God — and so, in a way, are we,” she said. “That’s the aforementioned question. Who we are, area we are advancing from, what’s out there. We are aggravating to affix to our own origins. So we are accomplishing this scientifically; they were accomplishing it in a added automatic way.”

Cabrol acutely respects the cultural history of the landscapes she works in. Her Quechua adviser Macario fabricated offerings to Pachamama, an Incan goddess, afore he and Cabrol’s aggregation climbed volcanoes, and Cabrol consistently makes offerings, usually clear spheres, to the aerial atrium lakes she dives in on mountains. She had planned to ascend to Simba’s atrium basin at the expedition’s end, but she hadn’t brought an alms to accord its blood-colored waters. Tentatively, she asked me if I had annihilation that ability assignment as a replacement. I gave her a allotment of lapis lazuli able into the appearance of an egg that I bought in San Pedro de Atacama. The barter seemed an absolutely rational act. Both behindhand of Cabrol, accurate and spiritual, are altogether accessory in her work, in her insistent, accurate extensive for the centermost of questions: Why are we here?

Lascar

Cabrol was staring at plumes of breath that rose from the abundance on the abreast horizon. Ablaze white at their bases, they ashen rapidly into brume that went up and up, afore accident adherence and resolution adjoin the sky. The beef was ascendance vertically, alike in this abandoned wind, so there was austere force abaft it. The abundance was Lascar, which shares a abruptness with Simba. And the aggregation had bodies on Simba appropriate now, bounded guides advancing our ascent.

Cabrol alleged anybody in. We stood in a band afore her, cat-and-mouse for orders. She pushed her mirrored glasses up assimilate her hat, speaking with terse, complete authority. As anon as the guides were bottomward from Simba, she said, we would go aback to camp. She would get out the accessory buzz and allege to Bill Diamond, who was now aback at the SETI Institute, and alarm the United States Geological Survey and the University of Chile to acquisition out added about the bearings here. And afresh we would allegation to adjudge not alone if the aggregation should abolish the planned ascendance of Simba but additionally whether any of us should break in affected at all.

There was no actual bad news, so we absitively to stay. Cabrol would accumulate an eye on Lascar’s action and let us apperceive if it worsened. She told us to beddy-bye in our clothes and accumulate our passports at hand, accessible to leave in the average of the night if allegation be. All of this gave me a aberrant affectionate of dread. It had a lazy, slow, opiated quality. It had been a continued time aback I had none of the accoutrement I bare to adjudicator a situation. There had afresh been a 5.5-magnitude convulsion in Calama, an hour and a bisected away. And if baptize fabricated its way into the magma alcove below the volcano, the abundance ability explode. These facts weren’t comforting. I withdrew to my little orange tent, sat on my cot and looked at photos of home on my phone. Outside, the ablaze was dying on the old volcano. I could apprehend bodies packing and the architect active abaft the cinder-block wall. Tambley was accumulating a acclimate base and arena Blush Floyd’s “Shine On You Crazy Diamond,” the saddest of songs, on his laptop. Zips, whispers, laughter, the sounds of Pelican cases actuality hauled over asperous ground.

I stared at my hands. They looked like age-old cadger skin, anniversary bulge categorical in anemic dust. All my clothes were white with it. My beard acquainted like anointed fur. There was a moth in my tent, but I was too aloof to move it. Blankly, I watched this atom of action bang about the orange walls. The covering accessory was open; all it bare to do was about-face about and fly the added way. It didn’t. I absent afterimage of it for continued minutes, afresh jumped at its touch. It had bumbled its way assimilate my duke and adequate there, quivering. I put it outside. We larboard the abutting day.

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